♥♥ First day of my thinnest year ♥♥

January 1st , it's a new year. It's the perfect time to start fresh.

Okay , it's true, I say that because I feel guilty... I cheated last time , BIG TIME. I had a slice of chicken pizza and like french fries... it's ridiculous how I have to control during the holidays, I really need to stay on track.

To punished myself I did some excercises. I'm lazy and I hate sport so it was a really big challenge for me. I did crushes and jumping jack like crazy... my bf thought i took speed because I was running around all night long. After we did wresling on the bed until I was not able to breath no more, kind of a good cardio I think.

I really need to get my shit together and start fresh so I only had one of my cookie diet this morning and I'm not gonna eat until dinner tonight, probably a little salad.


Today
1 diet Cookie : 105 cal
2 green apple: 170 cal
1/2 tuna can(in water) : 90 cal
10 aspargus : 80 cal
1 mini cucumber: 10 cal
Total: 455 cal

This morning I woke up with really bad cramp, I was crying. My bf was mad because he knew the pain was from the excess of elax I had yesterday night...whatever I thought I lost 2 pounds after going to the bathroom 5 times but when I weight myself I was horrified to see that I gained 2 pounds , I wanted to die , seriously... now i'm 134 pounds , it's gross, the worst is my bf grabbing my thight and saying ''ummm I like that meat'' like an animal... I almost
cried.
Here's a picture of Victoria's secret model boot camp...

First diet day here , 1825th in real life.

Personnally, I'm really good at not eating all day , then , going home and binging like CRAZYYY then staying in the bathroom for 1h trying to puke ,then ,realizing i'm not gonna puke because for some reasons my body is stupid , then , eating a half-box of laxatif and crying in my bed for my lack of will-power.....

BUT.....

I started this cookie diet, (aka as smart for life).
I'm suppose to eat 1 cookie every 2hour and then a meal for dinner. (Chicken and veggy)
Everycookie have 105 calories of protein and 4% of fat.
Basically your always stuff because of the protein so you don't have to think about cheating/binge.

Okay now , the thing is , those cookie are 1) disgusting 2) expensive 3) too rich for me.
So i'm eat 2 or 3 during the day (instead of 6 like i'm suppose too) and then I go home and very often I binge.....

Today
3 diet cookies ( 315 cal)
Going for dinner later with my bf.... we'll see.